चाय पे चर्चा....यमराज साथे..

Chai Pe Charcha....With Yamraj.. - S. N. Iyer

I was sitting at a roadside tea stall waiting for my friends when right next to me, a burly, mustachioed man, utterly defeated, exhausted, and drenched in sweat, was getting his e-KYC done on a mobile phone. Suspecting that someone might have "digitally arrested" him, I listened closely to his conversation and realized that he was none other than Yamaraj himself, the one who "physically arrests" the entire world. When I looked at him, he raised his eyebrows and started scanning me, and then smiled faintly, so the fellow figured out that my number hadn't come up yet. Ordering special tea for both of us, I told him straight away that I knew who he was... Since it had never happened before that a mortal recognized him in advance, and seeing a living person in the mortal world who was not the least bit afraid of him, he remembered Nachiketa and agreed to do "Mann Ki Baat" and "Chay Pe Charcha" together (Mr. Modi does both separately!) and gave me the freedom to ask whatever I wanted. Q: Dev, why do you look so tired and defeated? In childhood, in 'Amar Chitra Katha', how terrifying you used to look! Dev: Now the workload has increased a lot, and the targets have become very high. Moreover, all the completed work has to be uploaded online, staff recruitment is not happening, how can I manage alone? The staff sits with their mobiles all day long, and now they don't even remain loyal to their work. Q: Dev, this is a problem for all of us too. But we make our work lighter with the help of science, AI, and technology. Why don't you take its support? Dev: Damn it, this science, technology, and along with them, doctors like our colleagues have become my enemies. In the olden days, whoever we told, "Come on, your turn has come," would immediately set off with us without any hesitation! This technology has brought fierce competition into my business. How many rivals can one fight off? I am left gasping for breath. Q: Competition in your business? How is this possible? Who are such rivals that exhaust you? Q: Oh brother, let me count them out. The very first rival is 108. Before I can give a slight hint to someone, take the address note, and set out to deliver the summons, people at home call 108, and that 108 vehicle rushes out with GPS technology like a bullet from a gun. So a race is set for us to reach there. If I reach early, those guys arrive and declare "DEAD". But most of the time they reach early and I am left standing there looking foolish. Q: Dev, you are all-powerful, what difference does their arrival make? You can still do your work, can't you? Dev: No, friend, that is my biggest compulsion. The department has departmental MOUs with 108, so I cannot do anything to a client who has already come into their custody.... Q: Dev, the 108 people take them to the hospital, and that is your favorite workplace. What troubles you there? Dev: Not a workplace, my friend, that is a Kabaddi ground. Facing me are teams of cardiologists, nephrologists, oncologists, and so many other -ologists and support staff, machines made of various pipes and wires like nebulizers, pacemakers, ventilators, ICCU, tests like CT scan, MRI, syringes and bottles, medicines... and against all this, I am alone. It is very hard to break through the siege of all these and drag the guy away. On one side, I pull with all my might and on the other side, all of them together hold on tight... refusing to let go. I feel pity for the patient, and the patient's relatives join their team. Q: Dev, instead of this tug-of-war, can't you explain things to / threaten the medical team? Dev: No friend, they and I have a relationship going back many years. Our government runs on mutual support. Whenever there is a break in the battle, we even hold peace talks, and those people tell me, "Sir, we don't want to keep him forever... we will hand him over to you, but have some mercy on us too. We too have spent lakhs to get here, and we have studied in college that 'Never Say Die'. If we lay down our arms, what is the point of our knowledge? We are not going to let him go just like that. Do whatever you can." And once again the contest of Knowledge-Vs-Power begins. Q: With child-like curiosity, I asked, then what? Dev: Then what? For them, this might be a "Matter of skill & Knowledge", but for me, it is a "Matter of Time". As soon as the time comes, I make the "Final Pull" and touch the "Flat Line" drawn in the middle of the Kabaddi ground. I too am bound by time. Q: Is the matter over there, Dev? Dev: From my perspective, it is already over, but these doctors don't listen to me and appeal to the third umpire. This third umpire is the EEG (Electroencephalogram). When this umpire declares 'out', the work is done. Q: But Dev, I didn't understand why this whole game if everyone's time of departure is fixed? Is medical science more powerful than time? Can those people extend life? Dev: No, nobody can extend life. A "Grace Period" is given to everyone between my summons and the end. Death seems accidental to those who cannot understand the summons. In the olden days, doctors who understood the summons used to say, "Take the patient home and serve them," and these modern-day hospitals believe in playing as much as they can during this "Grace Period"! This "inscrutable summons" is the game-changer. Among the admitted patients whose summons I haven't even torn up, hospitals extort ransom from all of them in the name of my summons and by scaring them, turning me from Yam into "Lawrence Bishnoi"!!

I saw that Yamaraj's cup was almost out of tea, so I immediately ordered fafda-jalebi for us. Recognizing my eagerness for his company, he smiled while eating the breakfast and said, "Tell me, what else do you want to know?" Q: What advice would you give for serious illnesses in current times? Any way to resolve the summons? God: After parents, the most important person who takes care of health is the doctor. If you do not feel well, you must definitely go to them, but every person should decide for themselves what level of treatment they wish to receive and tell their family members. In short, they should set a STOP-LOSS. Clearly state the cost limits for ICU/ventilator/organ transfusion, etc., so that the doctor can also provide the desired treatment with precision. Q. God, speaking of precision, what is the Accuracy Level in your work? Any chances of error? God: Work is done with 99.99% accuracy. No error has come to my notice yet and I have never had to bring anyone back. And as I roam around everywhere, it seems to me that the Birth Department, operating in the block opposite my department, runs a completely casual operation. Who knows what kind of people they bring into the world, increasing my workload! Q. Why, God? Why do you say that about errors? Savitri had brought Satyavan back. Was that a myth or was it true? God: No, that is an absolute true event. At that time, a Woman Empowerment Week was running in our department and instructions were given to organize an illustrative program for women empowerment. Therefore, we had given Savitri the freedom to take Satyavan back, so that all husbands in the mortal world would know the power of a wife—that even after death, if she wants, she will not let go of you! Q. God, you probably don't know, for you death might be an event, but here for many it is a process, a daily, moment-to-moment running process—inflation, helplessness, debts, numerous worldly sorrows, fights, disappointments, frustrations, the boredom of staying alive.... God, people are dying more than living. Half of the people you consider alive are already dead while living. And in this age of bribery, hardly anyone is alive with their conscience. God, so many people commit suicide! God: Ha ha ha, all this is nonsense. Everyone is bound by the fruits of karma. It spares no one. And no one understands its accounting. Everything is subject to time. Suicide is an Earthly Perception. You apply your Theory of Causation, which is why you call it suicide. To me, everything is subject to time. According to Eternal Perception, everything is a Part of Larger Design. If a man only keeps "fakiri" (detachment/renunciation) instead of "Possessiveness" in his mind, he can always remain happy in the world, becoming unattached.

Na kuch paane ki khushi, na kuch khone ka gam!! (No joy of getting anything, no sorrow of losing anything!!) Knowing that Yamadev had such practical knowledge of the mortal world, I was left speechless.